Two Months/Two kids

After 2 months, we may have finally gotten a pattern. Grace's meds are dealt with, supplies are here. Everyone is in bed by 8 and the house no longer looks like a bomb went off. Factor in that Roman is not so skittish anymore and things are going really well.

shattered

I have never seriously thought about walking away from teaching; until today. I seem to have offended the district on a level that they want to suspend me for 5 days without pay. Really? Did I smack a kid? Call them stupid? Am I am bad teacher? How about coming in late everyday? Nope. I yelled a a secretary. After she called me a liar in front of my peers. Over a question I had asked about my time card.

None of this makes a single bit of sense to me. People say ride it out.. it doesn't make sense. Nothing in the district does. It will all blow over. Well it hasn't and it won't and now I am not sure I can bring myself to walk back in that building.

Its not overly about the money. Although it is about a 2% of my pay fine. Its actually more about the fact that I have watched teachers be rude and mean to students, to other staff, to the out of the classroom staff and just about everyone they come in contact with. I know an aide who was stalking and threatening a teacher and nothing came of it; except a "you need to be nicer" I am truly and deeply confused. I had a bad day, yelled, went and apologized and accepted responsibility. And this is what happens? I am treated worse than the student who brings drugs to school. Who assaults a teacher or another student? Really.

I quit. Even if its just caring. I quit.

The Educated

Seriously,

I am sitting here in a meeting with 20+ other teachers and they have been reading this article for the past 20 minutes. Am I the only one done???? Oh no, wait, the English teacher in front of me is done. She looks about as irked as I feel. How can it possibly take so long to read an article? Its a long one, but not that long.


Oh hey!! That is cool. I can log on to the computers they are using and send messages. I like this option. should use it with the students.

Alright, Alright

I am thinking I might get back to writing. Maybe I will make it a habit. Ha. Honestly the only habit I currently have that is worthwhile is getting up in the morning and many mornings I could do without that. Its the whole pesky work thing.

This may have been the hardest school year I have had in awhile. Changes within the District, being in a hallway essentially by myself, the indifference of my students, the crazy evil troll of an interim principal. I am looking forward to the end. Its about time to start over again. But who knows what next year looks like. I am trying to not think too much about it. The whole ostrich head in the sand thing.

We'll see.

LAST Day

Tomorrow is the last day of the school year. YAY.

There was this student who came to school today in clothes that I am pretty sure she had to have someone else help her into. There was not a thing to be left to the imagination. And god knows no one needs to imagine that. I kept thinking, "how do you make pants into tights." Seriously??

Another year down.

Yikes

How long has it been? Yeesh.... I know I have been busy, but really?

I was thinking about Noah and his tantrums tonight. Its really a pretty amazing piece of work. He does this controlled lay down and fit. God forbid that he hurt himself in the process of a tantrum. I guess I always had the idea that when toddlers throw fits, it is this bit of uncontrolled rage. Now I know better. True, he is mad, but there is a purpose to the fit (even if I don't get it). It is so hard not to laugh at him.

uggg

Another insomnia filled night. I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. Noah is running me ragged and this cough that I developed is not helping. I was hoping to sleep and then all of a sudden I was mentally awake. I keep going over all of the things it feels like I am doing wrong in my life. I wish there was some way to shut all of it down and just relax